Moving

I knew we were going to move out at the end of this month. At least I thought so... I just found out last Saturday that my dad wanted to move out of this house into the one he's buying this very weekend. I hadn't done any packing in my room, so all week I packed my stuff. I wanted to paint my new room, so my best friend picked me up and for two - three days this week we painted my room. Her daughters helped as well. Well, my room is painted, my stuff is packed and I'm leaving for Dare2Share today. I will be gone until tomorrow. Tomorrow night I will be sleeping in a new room in a new house. My cats won't even know what hit them! Sadly, my dog has to be put down because she was just too old. She was 16 years old in human years and for several months now, she had been sneezing blood. My dad didn't want blood in the new house, nor did he want her to suffer any longer. She was put down on Wednesday. I haven't had time to grieve. I probably won't until next week.

This week absolutely flew by. I think the next few days will as well.

I praise God for my best friend. She totally rocks! At the beginning of this week I was so stressed out, but by the middle of the week I really started to relax. She really helped me. I wouldn't have been able to get everything done without her. She helped keep me together. I am so honored that she would help me, even when she is so overwhelmingly busy herself. That's so cool. She's just plain awesome. And God is even better!

I see I'm just talking to the computer.

Not fun.

I lose. =(

Passion?

I don't have one. I wish my passion was Jesus. I'm trying, but I'm afraid He doesn't want me. I yearn for such a close relationship, but I'm afraid even He will reject me. I want to be free from this bondage! I don't want to be trapped anymore!

Purpose? I don't see this either. What am I here for? I want to rise up and be who God created me to be. If only I could be strong and courageous like Joshua and Caleb. God, please give me Your strength and courage. I need it.

Dreams... I don't have any dreams either. I don't know what I want to do with my life. Nothing satisfies me. Nothing sustains me. Nothing gives me a prolonged pleasure. God, may You take this emptiness and use it for Your glory and purpose. May Your dreams for my life, become mine.

I feel empty. God, fill me with You to overflowing. May my life reflect You. Please let me have the ultimate, most intimate relationship with You. I want You. I need You. I'm just afraid. I need courage. You created me. You ARE my father. You love me with an everlasting love. You sent Your Son to die for me. I AM worth it. God, please release me from satan's deception. May I be all You want me to be.

I'm ready. My life is not mine. I don't want it. I want You to have it. I just need to act.

And may You get the glory through it all.

Opposite Way

-Performed by Leeland (Leeland Mooring, Jack Mooring, Michael D. Smith, William Holtz)

Living in the same town
For all these years
Doing the same old things
Hanging with the same crowd
And it’s starting to get crippling
You’ve never felt in place
And you tell yourself it’s all okay
But something’s different today
You want to run the opposite way

And it seems like you’re locked in a cage
And you need to find a way of escape
When everyone is setting the pace
It’s okay to run the opposite way

The Father sent His Son down
The light of men
The cross He bore was crippling
Rejected in His own town
They couldn’t see the sun shining
He knelt in the garden and prayed
Father, let this cup pass from me
It’s not Your will for me to stay
Your will for me is the opposite way

And it seemed like He was locked in a cage
And He couldn’t find away of escape
But through the cross He conquered the grave
My Jesus ran the opposite way

Oh, and through the cross He conquered the grave
Oh, He ran the opposite way
Yeah, through the cross He conquered the grave
So you could run the opposite way

AMEN!